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Trace Ayala

[ website | And for that reason..I gotta say goodbye~JE ]
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[05 Oct 2003|02:34am]
[ mood | crappy ]

k.im updating..but yea.i'm bored.kthanx.that's my update.bye.

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I,I was the game she would play. [27 Sep 2003|04:25pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Okay.I was watching Celebrities Uncensored 10,and they showed Britney and Jenny shopping and Jenny..-blinks- Changed...for the better. They could of bought ME something..Anyways,than they showed Michelle at the premiere of S.W.A.T she looked so sexy.

Taking care of Kayla is no easy task,let me tell you. Christina called in from the UK,and she told me that Jorge didn't go with her because he had dance auditions in L.A .. she was disappointed. I felt sorry for her.

Nikki is on the Christina Aguilera thing,talking about her,and god..Nikki changed for the better too. -Laughs- They look so pretty now.

I went to go visit my parents..nothing new.

So,now I'm in Tennessee,Katie is with Kayla and Chelle,but I'll be joining them again.I just need to relax some,I'm sure Chelle will be joining me soon anyways.

I, I was a game she would play
She brought the clouds to my day
Then the like a ray of light
You came my way one night
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
Put all your fears to rest
Who do I love the best..


-Trace

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Im down on bended knees.. [20 Sep 2003|11:42pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

Life couldn't get any better than it is.I was spending time with Chelle and Kayla yesterday,and it was amazing.Everytime I look at Kayla,it looks like me when I was younger,but a girl version. -Chuckles- It's scary,I tell ya.She laughs,and her eyes light up like mine.Her hair is like Chelles,and her smile is like her own,a mix of mine and Chelles..Kayla's skin is so tan its of course,Chelle's..And it's funny how she does things that remind Chelle and I when we were younger.She's such a joy to be around.I love her to death. Chelle and I spent some quality time last night. She was in the bathtub and..I dont know if I should be talking about that.-Laughs- Heh.. Anyway..
-Starts singing softly to THIS song-Collapse )

I love that song,and Boys II Men is great.Anyway,I guess that's it.I gotta call Brian and see what's up back home,I haven`t talked to him in a bit.Later yall.

-Trace

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.. [17 Sep 2003|06:50pm]
[ mood | sick ]

My eyes hurt,my throat is swollen,and I have a fever of 105*..oh and,I keep sneezing,and it sucks. My eyes are going to shut any minute now.

I should talk about a lot more things but ya know what?It just gets me into a deeper hole than I was before.So,yeah.

I guess Chelle and I are back together..yeah.I'm glad.

-Coughs- God..this sucks.

I miss Brittany,and Brant.If yall dont know who Britt and Brant are..there my brother and sister...and I miss Elisha..Elisha was my girrl.I do miss her though.And Tara,where has she gone too?Miss her bunches.

Okay,the bathroom is calling me to go puke..Later.

-Trace

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Send me an angel to heal my broken heart for being in love. [14 Sep 2003|01:32pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

you had the chance to be my lover
thought our love was so strong
i guess i was dead wrong
but too look at it positively
hey girl
atleast you gave me a another song about
a horrible woman


Well.. When Chelle and I finally talk again,that's when I'll know whats going on.I dont think we're going to be together for now.We both need some time,and I know I do.To think and whatever..and just looking out for Kayla and trying to put what happened on the back burner,and let it burn forever and ever..and..yall get the point.

I feel like a different version of Britney and Justin's relationship.Sorry to go there but damn..When that happened between them,I thought it wouldn't happen to me..again..but it did like 2 other times -Laughs-Damn shame.

GUESS WHO UDPDATED?!CHRISTINA AGUILERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -beams- HOLY SHIT.The girl is going on tour ..AGAIN.I think I might hop over on her tour and be her personal assistant with Allison .. -Fixes his Halo- Really,just her personal assistant! -Laughs- I miss that girl.She has the VMA icon up,and it's pretty.Heh.She looks better in PINK than I DO. No fair.Anyway.. I think that's all I wanted to update about really..

-Trace

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I found out from him. . . . [09 Sep 2003|11:10pm]
[ mood | cold ]

-Frowns-Stupid is,and stupid does. -Slaps a STUPID sticker on my forhead-How stupid can I be or get?Justin told me,and told me over and over and I didnt believe him.I stood by her,stuck up for her,and made myself believe it wasn't true. I fucking pushed by best friend away from me and for what? NOTHING . . I care about Justin,and he cares for me..and stupid ass Trace,what does he believe?He believed that someone he loves wouldn't do that to him.God,I learned ..what?3 other times?..and I STILL believed her. -Sighs- I'm a Jackass.I've been played like a fool.3 times. Shit,3 times and I count myself out. So I'm becoming a nun.Or something like that. No..I'm kidding.HA. She cheated on me with a BRITISH bastard.I dont give a shit if he's actually IRISH.I'm still calling him BRITISH because I HATE HIM. And Justin,please dont use anymore comparisons..because..I'd kill you,and you know what i'm talking about. :] .. She made me wonder..do I want a relationship now?..I mean of course I wanna take care of Kayla,but I dont think I have to be attached to do that.. I mean,she told me ' I Promise I wont do it again'...but how can I be so sure?It happened 3 times,COUNTLESS times. -Shakes his head- What am I susposed to do?Forgive her and go on?Or just..leave and try to feel better about myself?I mean,if someone cheats on you,dont you think that you did something wrong?Because if that's the case..what the hell did I do for her to go to a BRITISH bastard?! I feel so bad for Kayla,and I don't want her to be without 2 parents..and she wont.I just feel bad.

I heard Justin singing in the shower.."Cry Me A River"so ever since then,I just kept replaying it and replaying it..The remix that is.And Justin is being mean and sang this.

I dont wanna be RUDE but..Collapse )

I know thats gunna piss her off,but,that's how I felt yesterday,and in a way,that grudge is still here.

-Throws up Gangsta sign-FIDDY CENT FO LYFE YALL!.. -Walks off so he doesn't get shot by 50 Cent's crew- ;]

-Trace

P.s: Dont tell me not to do something when you turn around and did it to,when all I did was love you.

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Get Away From Ya [06 Sep 2003|03:18pm]
-Sighs-He irritates me.He bugs me.He wont get away from me.He wont back off.I love Chelle,okay?Cant you understand that?If you understood how I feel about her,you wouldn't keep on saying she cheated on me and god,your so fucking negative it's not even funny.Sometimes I wish that I didn't even KNOW you.

But,listen to me,and listen carefully stay away from Chelle,and I.Just be gone already.You have your wife and kids to worry about.I'm not 12 anymore where I need "Big bad Justin"to come and save me from heartache.Newsflash,you did it to me too,so I dont need YOU or ANYONE to protect me. I dont know what else I have to fucking say to you before you actually step out of my life.And if your asking yourself"Is that what he wants?" YES IT'S WHAT I FUCKING WANT. I'd be so much more happier,and so much more free. Oh and..don't give me this bullshit about"We've been friends our whole lives,why throw it away"Bla bla bla fucking blah. That's all over now Justin..and you and I both know that.It's been gone along time ago.I told you way back that I'm no longer your best friend and that Anna is..I wasn't lieing to you when I said that..And Chelle is MY best friend now.I go to her and talk and tell her my problems..I dont ever go to you anymore..Probably because soon as I open my mouth you'll comment about Chelle and than I'll want to bash your head into a damn side walk..But ANYWAYS.. Don't make me feel guilty over your insecurities.I know what i'm doing,and if you think telling me over and over again is going to make me believe that Chelle has or IS cheating on me..your WRONG.

To:JustinCollapse )

For ChelleCollapse )

The End.

-Trace

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I dont know what you heard about me,cuz I'ma motha fuckin P I M P [29 Aug 2003|12:38pm]
[ mood | content ]

-Laughs-What's up yall?Yes,I did go to the VMA's and I went with Justin..It was great.I loved it.Britney,My Girl Christina,and Madonna were awesome...Damn them for being hott -Laughs- Christina told me about the performance so it was expected.Justin and I sat down when it wasn't even over-Laughs- Oops? =x . Chelle didn't attend -Pouts- But Yeah,I wore pink..Yes..I told Chelle I was gunna do something stupid like that.-Laughs- I miss Kayla and Chelle tons.

I can braid Anna's hair anytime I want Justin,so TAKE THAT. -Sticks out his tongue- HAHA. Well,whenever she aint away or something.

Anyways,Justin performed last night at like..1AM..I was tired.I fell asleep backstage . I'm still not his "personal assistant" .. I just went with him and I looked at his bodyguards like there nuts because Yeah Hi.I retired from that job -Laughs- Unless Justin pays me more ;] Kidding. No,I like being with Chelle and Kayla more than anything.But,if he HONESTLY really NEEDS me,I can go sometimes and help him out,other than that,No can do.

Anyways..I guess that's it..Oh and I touched 50 Cents hand when he was in the audience and walked by. WOO!.. I felt so damn special.-Laughs- I loveded it.IM GETTING A P I M P CUP LIKE HE IS!HE PROMISED ME! I'm all happy and shit-Laughs- Im not an ACTUAL pimp..the Pimp Trace is in my old days -Laughs- But I still want one,cuz it's BLING BLING.

I'm gunna go watch Newlyweds with Jessica and Nick now..He's performing some slow song..and I like it.Im gunna go find it -Laughs- Later yall.

-Trace

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I'm so happy. . baby . . [24 Aug 2003|07:25pm]
[ mood | content ]

- He grins ,as he types up his update -

Kayla said dada!! Holy shit -Laughs- That was so cute how she said it.She's daddy's little girl. -Grins-

Anyway,I saw Justin the other night..My fist did most of the talking,and I feel a lot better..not because I hit him,but because ..well..shit,he needed his ass in check.God,he thinks he has it bad because of what happened,well,HE PUT THIS SHIT ON HIMSELF.. And,you know what?I've never felt so free and happy in my life.

I'm with Chelle obviously still,and being with her is the best thing that happened so far.

Anna and I did talk,and I braided her hair..yeah yeah,I know what your thinking,and NO.I did not tangle her hair! I'm watching the E Hollywood True story on her again,and they keep saying she's stubborn and sexy,and desireable and all that..But I was just wondering something,there more focused on her being a sex kitten,and being all of this than her actual GAME of Tennis. -Laughs- I aint sayin she aint pretty but focus on her Tennis.

Okay,anyway...The tour is almost over,and I got one question..WHERE IS CHRISTINA?!?!?! God.She's missed!! ;[

My song to Chelle..
Chelle,Click HereCollapse )

-Sighs contently,watching Chelle with Kayla- Things have been good with us. I tend to keep it that way..

I'm going to go spend some more time with Chelle and Kayla..so later yall..

-Presses "Update" and sits next to Chelle and Kayla again,and wraps an arm around Chelle's waist-

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Have no fear,Trace is still here. [13 Aug 2003|07:15pm]
[ mood | content ]

- Smiles and looks over at Kayla,sleeping - Well,i'm in Europe and i'm with Chelle and the kids. Very,very happy over here.I missed Chelle so much.

Justin,I have to talk to you,so..whenever I can call you,I Will,or whatever.

Okay,so..I haven't been doing anything lately..just chillin here,and before I came here,I was slaving on tour,with Justin.

I guess that's it.Bye.

-Trace

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Im beggin you not to go. . . [07 Jul 2003|03:15am]
[ mood | content ]

-sighs- Where the hell do I start?Well,anyways..I called my mom to see if she wanted to see Kayla,well,we started to talk,and the conversation lasted for about 1 1/2 - 2 hours ..Well,than she started talking about herself,and how she isn't all that well.I asked her what was wrong,and she said she had cancer..and not only THAT,she had it for awhile.. She never bother to tell me..Maybe it's because she thought I didn't care..because of what my dad and I are going through.I still don't talk to him.I dont want to upset her,because I did get upset,and I even told her that.So on July 11th..Chelle,Xander,Kayla and I are going to go see her..Spend some time with her,just do "normal"things.

Kev and I talked about it some,which is nice to know that he's willing to listen.Thanks man.

As for Chelle,she knows,I told her soon she came home..and I missed her..Kayla did too.I'm trying to give Katie(The babysitter) Some time off,because she watches Xander and Kayla all the time -laughs- And I love watching Xander and Kayla,and just taking care of them so Chelle can have her sleep.I know how she feels..Cuz all the sleep I need is caught up with me yesterday. I honestly am happy with my relationship and just being set.

Justin asked me to be one of his best men at his wedding.Well,even if he didn't ask me,I would still show up,and put my two cents in the wedding ANYWAY :-P

Ya know..I'm done being a dick to my father,even after what he did to me.Chelle and I talked about him some,I still hold some resentment,but I can get over it.I'm going to TRY to ya know..Talk to him,as two adults..and see what the outcome of THAT is..It'll be another fight between us,probably.But,I'll try to prevent it.


Chelle :
WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS

I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU

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I have my angel. [28 Jun 2003|02:46am]
[ mood | content ]

-Smiles,updating his journal finally-

Alright,so I decided to be with Chelle and Kayla,and Xander for awhile.Is it okay to say that I have a family?I'm so happy,I dont think I've ever been this happy.Chelle,she just keeps getting amazing everyday.Everytime I look at her,it's like,she keeps getting beautiful.

As for Kayla..shes so precious.My angel.I love her so much.I'm glad Chelle and I worked out our differences.I dont think I could of handled being away from Kayla,nor Chelle.Love you Chelle.

Hm..Now..I guess..I gotta go back to being Trace:the personal assitant for Justin.Hey I get paid 110,000 my salary is kickin ass . -laughs-No i'm kiddin.I talk to Justin some,only when he needs something,other than that,I'm on the phone with Chelle or talking to Xander,or seeing how everything is.Or I'm going back and forth to Justin or seeing Chelle and the kids..So i'm pretty busy.I cant complain though.I'm enjoyin it.

Christina's been great also.We talk sometimes.I see her show,and she is amazing.The girl can sang -laughs-

Anyways,Chelle and I take turns at night,so when Kayla wakes up,its not both of us waking up.It's only fair.Yes ,I change diapers and the whole 9 on whichever nights we decide lol.But,I help out,because I want too -sticks tongue out at Chelle- I love being a father..and I'm not scurred,because If I was,Chelle would kick my ass.We already have that established.

Anyways,I'm off to bed,sleeping next to Chelle is great.-yawns some- Later. -presses update,and goes off to sleep-

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Busy.. [12 Jun 2003|01:39pm]
[ mood | content ]

Alright,so..I'm not on tour with Justin..that's because I have something better I had to do than just to follow him around.I'm at Chelle's house,and there was a room that she started for the baby,but obviously,since she can't do it now.I decided to finish it.The baby girls room is what Chelle wanted,I found out what colors,and all of that first..than went ahead and did it..It turned out really awesome.I love it.It took me all morning to paint,and put up the crib,and the baby's furniture and things like that..but now,Chelle is still yet to see the final thing.Heh.It felt good doing that,better than causing trouble. -smirks-

Chelle,hurry up and get home -laughs-

I miss you.


-Trace

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Yesterday was the day I stopped being selfish [09 Jun 2003|03:16pm]
[ mood | content ]

..Yes,it's true. -shakes head- I'm going to try my best not to be selfish. I talked to Anna,and no,no more food.We're ..okay now.It's going to take time ,but i'm willing to do that..I did move from my Orlando apartment into my TN one.I'm still thinking about selling my house,and just keeping the apartment.Who knows..Anyway,I also talked to Chelle,told her how I felt..I'd rather let her know than keep it to myself.This whole honesty thing,is working out better than I thought...Than I talked to Jenny,and she wanted to stay over,and she did.NOTHING Happened.I'm telling you,NOTHING happened.I wouldn't allow it.

The only person I need to talk to is Justin,and let him know..
Other than that,lifes been good since yesterday.Haha.Why am I in a good mood?My baby girl is going to be born sometime REAL soon,and I'm not going to be a dick head of a father ,and the baby doesn't deserve it.

We decided on a name!!!!!!!! Woo!It's Kayla Marie Ayala Rodriguez .. -grins,and nods-

I went to the mall,and I spent 2 hours in the damn baby section.-laughs-I bought the whole store,practically..

And I bought a few..-winks at Anna- Few things for some people,including myself.

-Trace

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And for that reason,I gotta say goodbye. [08 Jun 2003|04:43pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

-sighs,sitting down on the cold floor of his now empty apartment,grabbing his laptop,pulling it open-

Im moving from my Orlando apartment,and I got another one in TN..and I might sell my house in TN so I can just have
an apartment and thats it...It's less of a hassel.Anyways..I dont even wanna recap what happened last night.It was horrible for me.Finding out about Justin + Anna,than me being 20 times more hungry.It was great -fakes a smile- so fucking perfect.

I talked to Anna though,which actually surprised me.We talked for an hour or so.I dont know how long it was.I told her a lot of things.Which I don't feel like hiding.We aren't the best of friends,or close friends,so dont get your wires crossed,people.

Yeah,I'm a stubborn,selfish,bastard.Deal with it.-shakes his head- Go ahead and agree,I wont take it to heart,I promise.

Chelle,I'm scared shitless..and I'm sure you know that.I'm going to try my best to be the best father I can be to OUR child.I just don't wanna end up like my bastard of a father,who treated me horribly when I was younger.I just have this fear and that scares me too.

And another thing,about me being all depressed and shit,has really nothing to do with Justin,honestly.It's more about me,and my issues..Yeah he has like 5% to do with it,but the other 95%..has nothing to do with him.Just me,and my family,and my fears..and it's all catching up to me.Soon as our child is born,maybe I can relax..and just take it one step at a time.I just....right now..It's confusing..And now,I know that ..Justin and I always said "we'll be friends forever" it just hurts to know that we're NOT .. In reality..it cant always be forever.He has Anna,and I have one fucked up life right now.Not everything is forever,and this is just one of them.Our friendship went down the drain a long time ago..and I didn't realize that until now..

To top it all off,Jennifer Morris is around.My ex,ex,ex girlfriend.The one I dated for 2 years..and loved with all my heart.Who broke it,and stepped on it like it was nothing.Till this day,I dont know exactly WHY she broke up with me.All I know is ,is that I loved her more than anything.

And Kevin..-smirks lightly-Nice to meet you..-chuckles-Very nice to meet you.Glad I did,Mr.Blunt.-shakes his head-

Well if you got touched by this update,good..if you didn't,good.It wasn't meant for you to get touched by this update.

-Trace

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The hell.. [06 Jun 2003|01:35am]
[ mood | crappy ]

So i've been on the road with Justin....Fun fun,yada yada,anyways..I dont know whats wrong with me but uh.........I keep eating everything I See..and shit I dont even like before,I LOVE now...God. The hell? I just ate out Lances fridge.He no longer has..Salad,Steak,Chicken wings,cake,some icecream,Doritos.....-smirks-I ate all of it.Sorry man. -laughs- Lance is cool ass for lettin me do that.I just got up and took his shit.Woops.

Anyone else got some food?Im hungry.

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Yea. [02 Jun 2003|12:39am]
Well,this is going to be a pointless update.So here I go.

I was with my family for the past ..2 weeks.My sister had her Graduation and she wanted me to come along to some parties so I agreed,and went with her for awhile.It was nice hangin out with my lil sis,and than we had our own party,I didnt know my sis had that many friends. -smirks,getting hit over the head- OUCH YOU LIL -growls- ANYways..So i'm back in Tennessee,enjoyin the life here.I went out with a real nice southern lady,none other than Tonya,she's real cool,and of course,still down to earth.I enjoy her company,and her pep talks.She congratulated me on being a dad.I told her I wasn't ready,and she just hugged me and told me it would be okay,I mean I knew it would be,but shes just says it like she's so sure of herself.But anyways,I guess I'm ready.I'm getting cold feet.

Wheres Christina? -sighs- Probably in Paul's bed. -smirks- Haha.Love ya girl.

-Trace

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Chelle [25 May 2003|06:08pm]
[ mood | content ]

-sighs- Ive been with Chelle a lot lately,but she did take her vacation time off,and she did tell me.So I did the same thing. Shes so beautiful though..she's teaching me so much about everything.I feel really lucky to have her.Thank you,Chelle.

I love you,girl.

-Trace

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{ I'm gunna keep on,singing her song. [06 May 2003|02:42pm]
-laying in bed,haven't slept since he got home-

Yesterday was not a good day for me at all.I for one always takes life as a big joke.And yesterday,I didn't take it all fun and games.

I'm going to apologize to Justin + Anna,weither or not they accept it.

Chelle stayed with me yesterday,and we actually talked.Yeah,WE talked.How funky is that?We aren't 'together' like that.But we are together for our child.I'm not going to turn into my father.But somehow I feel as if I already am without even knowing it.

My body feels numb as hell.Feels as if I just came out of a coma. -sighs-

I messed up,and I don't know how to make it okay...The question that I should be asking is .. Am I Okay> I honestly don't think I am.

Lately,I've been taking things to seriously,and been bitchier.Sounds like fucking PMS.Haha.
-shrugs- .. Oh well,Chelle and I are leaving for a couple of days..I need it...And i'll be the laziest bastard you'll ever see.No working out,no working at NYPD Pizza,and meeting girls..damn.I have to give THAT up for a day..-shakes head-
Anyway,no doing anything for myself,just laying out,and sleeping.

-yawns- I have to talk to Justin before I leave.I'm leaving late tonight..So,if he's around,I will..same with Anna.I dont care how much she hates me,I'll still talk to her.

Chrissy,bitch,where are you?Nice new pics by the way.Very classy.I like them.

-Trace

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{ I guess you should know that,ive been damaged [03 May 2003|01:35pm]
[ mood | numb ]

Chelle and I fought. -sighs-

Anyways..Than I got into an accident.I didn't even know what was coming to me,the next thing I know,Justin's in the room,and i'm complaining about jello. -smirks- I fell asleep with Chelle in the room. Anna's right..why fight?Just take care of the baby together. -frowns-Never in a million years would I think that I'd be in a hospital.Oh well..Things happen,I guess.Anyway,I do wanna say thanks to Anna though,for putting up with me,even though you despise me.

On a good note,Sarah came by this morning,and she gave me a decision to make.."Me or the baby"I told her the baby.I will not back away from my child..-shrugs- So as you can guess,who I thought was 'the new love of my life'..wasn't.Otherwise,she would of stuck by me.

-blinks,listening to his own heart rate- Little things amuse me..

-turns away from it,wincing- Im tired of flowers..-smirks-My room looks like an over done garden with 'get well'balloons..Mostly there from Chrissy..I talked to her this morning,and she's stopping by. -grin- Woot.Ima see if she can get all dirrty..erm..nevermind.I was watching her diary on mtv..it was interesting..I paid attention on how beautiful she was,inside and out..and her brother,Mikey..I miss the lil man.

-looks at the tv,yawning,closing his eyes,drifting off to sleep-

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